My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just invented taco cereal.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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