You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
