I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
