Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
