he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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