The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
