if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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