I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
