a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
