i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
