Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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