i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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