i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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