I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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