hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
