I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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