I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
