1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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