I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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