woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
