Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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