She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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