Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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