You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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