remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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