Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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