i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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