id be glad to
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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