He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
