It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
