It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
