i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
