i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
