Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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