I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
