Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize