Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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