At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
