hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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