I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
