I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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