you lied. pity sex is amazing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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