You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
