Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
