O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
