Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
