Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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