Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
