Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
