I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it glows. i had to have it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
