hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
